Ribbit.

An ex-boyfriend once told me: "Whoa. You freak out way too easily."

I have been a self-taught knitter for 4 months, and I'm sick of garter and rib stitching. I'm sick of my oversized, 14" Silvalumes. I want to conquer knitting with circular needles, and make something that is not square or rectangular. Since I cannot afford an interchangeable needle set, I have to work with what I've got (29" circulars size 8, 9, 10). By some miracle, I found a sweater pattern that called for a circular needle size that I owned, and not six different needles/cable lengths. It is the Shaded Tweed Tunic from the January issue of Creative Knitting.

Do you want to know how many times I've cast on for that sweater in the past two months? Not once, not twice or three times, not even four or five times. Six is getting warmer. I tried a seventh time tonight. It was when I failed at my eighth attempt that I threw my needles down, stomped out of my room, and chain smoked about as many cigarettes as my tally of failed cast-ons. And Creative Knitting had the AUDACITY to label the skill level "Easy." Eff you, Creative Knitting. Eff you.

So, is it my fault that my stupid How-To knitting book said that a yarn over was bringing yarn forward followed by knitting a stitch? No wonder I ran out of stitches early on the second row. Twice.

And how can I distinguish between a YO stitch and an unfinished purl? Talk about DROPPING stitches on row three.

Yeah, that's right, I haven't even made it to row four yet. And the thought of counting out 57 cast-on stitches a ninth time is nauseating. But you know what? I'm going to knit that damn sweater. Hell, I'll make two. I don't care how long it takes me.

NO MORE SCARVES!